this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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