Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
