Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
