Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
