Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
