i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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