to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you mean i was at the winter classic?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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