I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
