Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
