what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
