I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
