I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Your penis caused this!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
