we have officially lost it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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