just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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