Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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