real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize