Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Whiskey dick.

(810): View more from Michigan

Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.

(417): View more from Missouri

Everyday of my life.

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(417): Whiskey dick. (810): Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it. (417): Everyday of my life. http://tfl.nu/axyq

Replies (3) Good night (900) Bad night (1040)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept

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(773): I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept http://tfl.nu/49pe

Replies (10) Good night (552) Bad night (1818)
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(847): View more from Illinois

so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?

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(847): so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ywt9

Replies (53) Good night (3479) Bad night (1278)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.

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(843): His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked. http://tfl.nu/h1xn

Replies (17) Good night (3940) Bad night (682)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."

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(248): Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth." http://tfl.nu/c9w9

Replies (15) Good night (7746) Bad night (784)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.

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(920): you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving. http://tfl.nu/e2dg

Replies (27) Good night (2834) Bad night (4536)
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(707): View more from California

you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!

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(707): you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?! http://tfl.nu/ug5x

Replies (17) Good night (3699) Bad night (630)
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(614): View more from Ohio

i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone

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(614): i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone http://tfl.nu/w81g

Replies (25) Good night (6438) Bad night (767)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

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(250): you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in. http://tfl.nu/ux6h

Replies (7) Good night (1191) Bad night (2920)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles

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(508): I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles http://tfl.nu/zr9b

Replies (18) Good night (3444) Bad night (655)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!

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(701): Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice! http://tfl.nu/fa1l

Replies (7) Good night (3194) Bad night (600)
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(361): View more from Texas

Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

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(361): Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again. http://tfl.nu/uwik

Replies (4) Good night (1381) Bad night (589)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.

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(402): She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago. http://tfl.nu/udi4

Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (1274)
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(406): View more from Montana

She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial

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(406): She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial http://tfl.nu/8xau

Replies (10) Good night (3448) Bad night (564)
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(956): View more from Texas

Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.

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(956): Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout. http://tfl.nu/rol8

Replies (0) Good night (691) Bad night (339)

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