Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much

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  (828): I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much http://tfl.nu/wzca
  Replies (14) Good night (1581) Bad night (2968)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy

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  (803): I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy http://tfl.nu/vzq5
  Replies (11) Good night (5243) Bad night (922)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year

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  (412): Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year http://tfl.nu/b3y5
  Replies (14) Good night (1240) Bad night (4776)
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  (661): View more from California

  I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...

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  (661): I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore... http://tfl.nu/z5qk
  Replies (11) Good night (3653) Bad night (870)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.

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  (319): You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while. http://tfl.nu/w0el
  Replies (6) Good night (2949) Bad night (1030)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.

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  (512): It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad. http://tfl.nu/27g7
  Replies (24) Good night (846) Bad night (6336)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.

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  (240): I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged. http://tfl.nu/1zhu
  Replies (9) Good night (3453) Bad night (1350)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.

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  (925): I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3. http://tfl.nu/j6bz
  Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (2847)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories

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  (706): Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories http://tfl.nu/hpss
  Replies (5) Good night (2004) Bad night (766)
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  (310): View more from California

  At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?

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  (310): At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude? http://tfl.nu/d5u6
  Replies (5) Good night (1244) Bad night (539)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on

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  (360): first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on http://tfl.nu/2woc
  Replies (6) Good night (873) Bad night (407)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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  (425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (335)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.

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  (804): My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost. http://tfl.nu/72vv
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (646)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think that about sums it up, actually.

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  (715): I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain? (1-715): I think that about sums it up, actually. http://tfl.nu/mxnz
  Replies (10) Good night (1039) Bad night (313)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  ...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.

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  (+44): ...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like. http://tfl.nu/l06q
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (219)

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