Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.

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  (410): Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer. http://tfl.nu/2her
  Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (814)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.

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  (814): In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words. http://tfl.nu/vqcb
  Replies (25) Good night (1220) Bad night (2574)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.

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  (512): boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above. http://tfl.nu/vdaw
  Replies (14) Good night (4589) Bad night (986)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.

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  (617): i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good. http://tfl.nu/gykq
  Replies (116) Good night (6402) Bad night (1333)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight

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  (501): instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight http://tfl.nu/gwkf
  Replies (50) Good night (4347) Bad night (745)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls

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  (720): I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls http://tfl.nu/uqfq
  Replies (11) Good night (3803) Bad night (1089)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

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  (757): I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/vrde
  Replies (4) Good night (2999) Bad night (1067)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?

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  (902): are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night? http://tfl.nu/v55k
  Replies (7) Good night (2162) Bad night (918)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom

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  (860): at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/ajul
  Replies (3) Good night (1885) Bad night (555)
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  (415): View more from California

  Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.

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  (415): Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited. http://tfl.nu/jdnb
  Replies (24) Good night (5350) Bad night (1016)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white

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  (512): he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white http://tfl.nu/k2oa
  Replies (10) Good night (608) Bad night (2021)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?

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  (856): I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right? http://tfl.nu/8yrh
  Replies (11) Good night (1341) Bad night (551)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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  (914): Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way. http://tfl.nu/0tc3
  Replies (1) Good night (1167) Bad night (613)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.

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  (312): He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work. http://tfl.nu/lc9m
  Replies (12) Good night (937) Bad night (578)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls

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  (406): My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls http://tfl.nu/ydwq
  Replies (5) Good night (717) Bad night (807)

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