i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
