My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.