Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
