Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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