shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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