How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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