Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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