Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
