What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
