im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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