the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
