I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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