She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
