So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
