It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
