OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Couch. On fire.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
