I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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