But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
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There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dear god my vagina.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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