So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
