He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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