Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.