dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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