Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We had sex on a dog bed..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend