The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
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I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.