ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
