it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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