I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
