apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
