Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I believe in your delicious
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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