Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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