You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
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He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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