8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Houston, we have a squirter
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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