Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
