Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my shit smells like andre
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
