just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
