But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He shit in the fireplace
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
