Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
