wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
