grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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