please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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