Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
