were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
love makes seman taste better
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
