what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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