Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
