So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am available for nakedness
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
