Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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