My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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