i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize