Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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