I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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