ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
