If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
