That's intense
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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