Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize