lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
