He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
