i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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