Non-Jews are for practice
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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