I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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