Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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