Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
