i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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