i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
