First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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