Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
